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I am sitting with Bryan at one of my 5-Day Inner Bonding Intensives. Bryan is talking almost one entity behind dissimilar, and I cannot emulate him at always. Nor can I connect with him. My loneliness in sitting with him is giving me important message - that he is in his head, in his wounded ego, protecting against his feelings and duty for his feelings.
"Bryan, would you be ambitioning to take a deep expiration and put your converge into your heart?"
Bryan starts to argue with me [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], asking irrelevant answers, deflecting, trying to drag me into his system of avoidance.
"I’m surprising what you are averting consciousness?" I gently inquire him.
"I don't know." He looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to tell him what he is avoiding.
"What are you feeling right this minute?"
"I don't know."
"Bryan, it appears to me that resistance namely your God - that withstanding is extra important to you than being loving to yourself and others."
I see a light glow in his eyes and a small smile come to his face. He knows exactly what I average by this.
"Yes [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," he says. "I don't want to be intruded."
I feel deep sympathy as this young male. His resistance tells me volumes. It tells me that he has a highly invasive parent - which turns out to be his mama - and that he had to study to avoid her tentacles in many different ways. Being smart and articulate, he academic to linger in his head and talk as a way to reserve himself safe from being controlled by anyone.
The problem is that his talking moves human away and immediately Bryan is very lonely. What began out as a brilliant coping mechanism has immediately cornered into his jail. His terror of aggression leads him to insulate, which makes his superb [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], clever and playful interior tiny chap quite lonesome. When he is around people, as by the intensive, he has a hard period being open due to this same fear.
Bryan needs to amplify a loving Adult who tin protect him opposition invasion in healthy ways, such as saying yeah when he means yes, and not when he means no. He absences a loving Adult who tin tune into his feelings and let him know when someone is trying to be invasive, instead of acting as if everyone is trying to control him and shutting everybody out.
"Bryan, my suggestion to you is to proceed act exactly what you are act, merely now do it consciously. Resist as many and as hard as you can. Do it ashore intention prefer than unconsciously. Only via awareness of your choice will another choice transform accessible to you."
Fortunately, Bryan did no resist being conscious of his resistance. He discovered that his resistance was ubiquitous, and it made him feel very sad.
"Bryan, when somebody is being invasive and attempting to control you, are they being loving or unloving?"
"It feels unloving to me."
"How does it feel in your heart when someone absence to suck the life out of you or have control over you?"
"It feels terrible. Kind of heartbreaking."
"Yes, that is accurate how it feels. And this feeling in your heart is letting you kas long assomeone is being unloving. If you can avow it with compassion for yourself, then you can open to learning with your Higher Self about what would be loving to you in the face of another's invasiveness. If you listened to your Higher Self and took the loving behavior, you would feel safe from invasiveness without having to go into your head or shut down and retreat."
Many others in the Intensive identified with Bryan. Carl accomplished that he got hard and judgmental when he felt another's unloving behavior. Susan confessed to getting offended and judgmental when her alarms of refusal obtained stimulated. Allen and Josh realized that they, too, accustom going into their heads and talking for a course apt avoid their painful essence feelings that got stimulated when others were creature unloving, or they were fearful of rejection.
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