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Sixty-four year old Bill was a marital retired executive who sought pique management assist on the perseverance of his wife Ann.
After 24 years Ann could not longer tolerate his bullying behavior toward her, their children, and their friends. He would often relate in an insulting, "obtain in your face" course using a loud, intimidating voice namely scared her.
She often felt like a mini girl who was being scolded. He gave her mandates with no thought because her feelings or how others were responding to his behavior. If he did not get his own way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he would often pout or withhold needed finances from her.
Tactics Of The Adult Bully
As this case illustrates, mawkish bullying occurs when someone tries to acquire control by making others feel furious or scared. It is often characterized by yelling,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], name-calling, sarcasm, jeering, putting down, belittling, embarrassing or intimidating. Ann said that they had no friends for of Bill's behavior. He was compelled into early retirement by his company due to alienation of upper treatment.
Bullies Often Have Personality Disorder
Like many bullies, Bill had a deep sense of insecurity approximately himself. He completely lacked empathy or the competence to penetrate how he was negatively affecting others.
He honestly didn't see himself as the problem and was constantly in dismay when others approximately him were devastated or angry by his behavior. Bill had what is known as a "narcissistic" individuality muddle. He was merely learned of interpreting accidents from his outlook. Pre-occupied with himself ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he had little regard or understanding of the feelings of others.
Can Bullies Change?
While research shows that the most bullies are unable to make deep changes to their personality,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they are sometimes competent to adjust their behavior to the amplitude that they are more permissible. Usually, the motivation to change is influenced by outdoor influences such as employers, mates, or kid. Bill, for instance, desperately wanted his wife back as he really loved her to the extent he was capable to experience love. Other bullies we have seen in anger management classes decided to change at the menace of losing their job. Jim, a line administrator in a chemical factory, fell into this classification.
The Case of Jim
An "old-school" manager, Jim often screamed and intimidated employees to stimulate them to generate more, musing his behavior would be watched as positive at the enterprise executives.
Unfortunately, also many employees complained, resulting in his being referred to Human Resources for intervention. Turns out, Jim didn't ambition to be seen as a bully, had no awareness others were seeing him that way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and most naturally didn't ambition to lose his job of over 25 years.
Thus, he was highly motivated to earn more effective capabilities to relate to employees while still retaining a lofty rate of product.
He did well in anger management as he knowledgeable our tools of anger control- particularly the tool of "empathy" which includes additional social awareness (seeing how he is coming along to others) as well as more sensitivity to the feelings of others.
Unfortunately,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not entire bullies are as responsive to intervention as Jim was. Many bullies remain bullies because they don't see themselves as the problem. In this case, you may must learn how to cope with their behavior, if you are in an unfortunate situation such that you need to continue to be with them merely survive.
Four Ways To Cope
* Focus ashore the positive attributes of the bully and try to ignore the negative portions. For instance, Bill had a quite sweet and generous side to him while no creature a bully - a side Ann could study to converge on to survive the repugnant periods.
* Be confident and see your bully in the eye. Speak in a lull and clear voice meantime asserting yourself by naming the behavior you don't favor and state what is anticipated instead.
* Create a distraction alternatively change the subject. Try using humor alternatively a well chosen word apt demilitarize the tease.
* Give the bully's oneself what it n