coach2r4x
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Dołączył: 11 Mar 2011
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Wysłany: Śro 5:52, 20 Kwi 2011 Temat postu: FiveFingers Bikila LS Womens Are You Asking the Wr |
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For example, if your co-worker namely lacking project deadlines, you might ask how you can help him achieve his tasks on time. His answer might be perfectly rational. But if he's lacking deadlines because he thinks the project timetable is impossible,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he won't get anyone better at meeting them because you've asked how you can help.
In both work and private positions, caring and perceptive human pride themselves on crafting their open-ended questions with, well, caring and sensitivity.
When you want a change to happen in your relationship with something, the questions you ask have to be significant in terms of how the other human views the problem.
Sometimes you know in a hurry while you've asked the wrong question. If the response you get is muddled or, worse,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], angry and reactionary, you've got a beautiful good hint. And that's a good thing, because it allows you to try something different at once.
And naught happens. Maybe entities even get worse. You wait patiently (or not so patiently), and then you try anew, asking the same answer since it got a agreeable respond the first time - and anyhow, you truly do ambition to know the answer!
It comes down to asking yourself the question of how much you want the change to happen. S
You might ask your co-worker how he feels about the deadlines assigned to his tasks. And you might ask your wife how she feels about the project she's going aboard. In these examples, those questions are more probable to get you closer to understanding what's really going above.
So why don't they get the results they want? Why do they persist to struggle with misunderstandings, disconnects,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and the gradual slip of previously-close relationships into a frustrating lack of communication?
You may be getting explicit, careful answers, yet whether you're not getting the results you want, you're asking the bad question.
Likewise, if your spouse is putting in a lot of overtime, you might ask her how she feels about not costing more time with you. She might reply that it really bothers her, and you may have a great conversation about how she could build better boundaries with her director. But if she's been agreed a promotion or if she's incited by the project, she's not going to be coming home any earlier.
But periodically you get causativeed, visibly responsive answer. You have a great conversation - you'd even call it a productive dispute. You feel that you've made progress and that change is underway.
If you've been asking open-ended questions that lead to what seem to be productive, responsive conversations, but you're still not seeing the results you want - then it's time to stop and think. What can you ask that will paint out the real problem?
Of course, I've given away the secret at differentiating you the other person's point of view. It's not quite so cozy in real life. In real life, you often must try several times ahead you find the right question. And to do that, you'll have to put yourself into the other person's situation, which can be both laborious and bitter.
If you're in a relationship, whether at work or at family, where you feel something needs to change, you must skeleton your questions so they residence the other person's attitude. If your questions come only from your viewpoint, they won't - can't - effect your goal of creating change, even now they lead to a terrific conversation.
Open-ended questions are a good course to start responsive, pregnant conversations. They elicit complete, thoughtful answers that reveal what's important to the person reacting. They're secondhand by instructors to help students think and by friends to help friends feel listened and comforted.
They're asking the wrong open-ended questions.
That's a key point, and bears repeating.
More importantly, open-ended questions help build prevalent goals, determine contentions, and close up the distance that tin grow over time among friends, home, and partners.
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